A Story About Nothing

In the beginning, was the void. Whether a void exists is a moot question, but there was no one to debate.
This led to much confusion.

Then a certain trademarked character got caught in a timeloop. Since there’s no such thing as time travel, naturally (or unnaturally) he was caught in the void. Passionately he fought, leaping from on high, bashing with both his fists, and tearing his shirt. Desparate, he said:
“You. Are. Confused. Therefore you must be thinking.”
“You think, therefore you are.”
“But you’re a void!”
“I am! But I am not! I AM!”