The weirdest thing about going to the dentist and getting my teeth cleaned is, well, my teeth are clean afterward. For the next few weeks, every time I brush, I’m going to stare at my teeth and think, Where are the coffee stains? What is this alien whiteness?
What I really need to keep that whiteness is the toothbrush in “Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush,” by Derek Zumsteg.
This is a very silly story about a toothbrush that aspires to make more of itself. Yes, a toothbrush. A talking toothbrush. Since much of the story is dialogue, it’s fun to read out loud and give the toothbrush a funny voice, just like the one in a lovely reading you can hear on Escape Pod. And unlike “The Unsolvable Deathtrap,” this one you can read to your kids.
Of course if you’d rather have the intelligent toothbrush, the closest thing is probably a Hydrabrush. At least it doesn’t nag you about flossing. Yet.