As the current story I’ve chosen to work on turns into a morass, last night I was feeling completely uninspired. The only way I could finish something last night was to start something new. Feeling a bit desperate, I resorted to my collection of prompts and came up with “Write about a hat.” So I did. Much to my surprise, I even finished something. I’m calling story #11 “A Hat, A Hat, I’m Wearing a Hat.” It refers to a rather familiar story, so I’m just going to give it to you right here.
A Hat, A Hat, I’m Wearing a Hat!
by Pam Phillips
There was a monkey who found a hat. It was a hat on top of a stack of hats. He put on the hat and he liked it so much he began to hoot. “A hat! A hat! I’m wearing a hat.”
He hooted so loud, all the other monkeys in the forest came to see.
“A hat! A hat! I’m wearing a hat!” the first monkey hooted.
“What’s a hat?” one of the other monkeys asked.
He pointed to the hat on his head. “See? See! A hat! A hat! I’m wearing a hat!”
“Where can we get a hat?”
He pointed down the path. “There’s a whole stack of hats right there. Go get them quick, before they get away!”
So the other monkeys swooped down on the stack of hats, and one by one, they snatched a hat off the stack as it swayed along the path. Soon the trees were full of monkeys hooting, “A hat! A hat! I’m wearing a hat!”
Then one monkey screamed, “A man!”
All the monkeys fled to the tops of the trees and fell silent. Even in the quiet, the first monkey held tight to his hat and whispered, “A hat, a hat, I’m wearing a hat.”
But the man did not shoot them. He did not throw rocks at them. He only shouted. What was he saying? The monkeys crept closer.
The man was on the path running to and fro, clutching with both hands the hat on his head. Oh! Of course! Now they knew what he was saying. Every monkey grabbed its hat with both hands and they all shouted back.
“A hat! A hat! I’m wearing a hat!”
Then the man let go with one hand and made a fist. He shook his fist and kept shouting.
The monkeys made fists and shouted back.
“A hat! A hat! I’m wearing a hat!”
The man got very excited by this game. His face turned red and he jumped up and down, shouting.
The monkeys bounced on the branches so the trees swayed. They too shouted.
“A hat! A hat! I’m wearing a hat!”
Then the man tore the hat off his head and flung it to the ground.
The monkeys thought this was wonderful. So that’s what hats were for! Overjoyed, they tore off their hats and flung them down on the path. Now that the game was over, they jumped away through the trees, hooting.
“A hat! A hat! I was wearing a hat! I threw it away and that was that!”
All but one of the monkeys, that is. The first monkey watched the man gather up hats. Sadly, he watched the man stack the hats and put the stack on his head and walk away.
The first monkey missed his hat. He had been cheated. He looked and looked, hoping to find a hat that had been left behind, so he could wear one again. No hat.
Finally, he tore off a leaf and licked it. Then he stuck it on top of his head. And carefully climbing through the branches he hummed to himself, “A hat, A hat, I’m wearing a hat.”