
In the days of the Very Long Ago, there was a great Apatosaurus and his tail was very long, oh my best beloved. He would walk through the spiny piney palmy forests and snap his tail, ever so gracefully, ever so loudly, and CRACK, down would fall the trees and he could eat. He would slosh by the edge of the pond and wave his tail, ever so gracefully, ever so sloshily, and WOOSH, up would come the water lilies and he could eat.
Apatosaurus was very happy, but not so happy was the hairy, scary Repenamamus. (We shall call her Reppie, my best beloved, but only she knows her true name.) When Reppie was up in the trees, trying to steal eggs, CRACK would come Apatosaur’s tail and down would tumble Reppie with the trees, very annoyed. When Reppie was down by the lake, trying to stalk young dinos, SPLOOSH would come Apatosaur’s tail, and Reppie would go tumbling all amid the water lilies, very, very annoyed.
But Reppie was small and short and Apatosaur was tall and long, and very graceful, oh my best beloved. So Reppie waited while Apatosaur whipped his tail and in time there were many Reppies and they became many other hairy, scary creatures of many names, but only they know their true names. And Apatosaur also became many other creatures, some big, some small and all of them whipped their tails.
Finally, one Reppie was born with long silky fur and a long silky tail, though still not as long as Apatosaur. Some say she was called White, but as she was a Cat only she knew her True Name. She had a human who fed her every day, and so obedient was he, that when she told him to pick her up and let her stretch, why of course he did that very thing, my best beloved. And what do you think happened?
She stretched, and streeetched, and strrrreeeeeetched, and STRETCHED. Her feet stretched down through the ground. Her head stretched up to the sky. And her tail, was the best. Her tail stretched all the way back through time to the very most Ancient Days of the Very Long Ago, and she caught the Apatosaur and stole his tail.
And that’s why Long Cat is Long.
(With apologies.)